It seems that since I've become a mom, my friendships have definitely changed. I've found new friends that have somehow become incredibly close in only a short amount of time, and that share with me not only my passion for little ones, but also share in many of the challenges as well. Some of my "non-mom" friends have actually become closer - even if we don't get to see each other as often. One thing I have learned in being a mom the last 2 years is that free time is pretty much non-existent. Before you had kids, if you wanted to do something, you just did it. Now, when an activity you want to do comes up, you are always CHOOSING between two things... do I go out to dinner with my girlfriends, or spend time with my family? Do I go get a massage, or play with little G? It's hard because now, there's ALWAYS something else you can be doing - most notably spending time with your family. I won't talk about guilt - I'll save that for another post - but I will say I definitely have to determine that whatever is taking me away from my family, has to be worth it.
I've ended some friendships because I just don't have time to spend with people that are not fully engaged in my life, and me in theirs. I have a limited amount of free time, and I want to spend it with people I truly care about. I am sad that some of my "non-mom" friends and I don't get to see each other as often, but I also know it's not ideal to eat dinner out at Red Robin if you don't have your own kid in tow. (Ahh... remember those nice dinners out with wine and conversation). But I also know that those friends are still the ones I can reach out to when I need them - kids or no kids - friends are still there for each other. Assuming they are true friends.
All that being said, I guess in the end what I want to say is that I feel very blessed with the friendships I've made, and the friendships I've kept. Some are more work than others (especially in the making time to see each other category), but they are all rewarding. They give us something we can't get from our husbands or our children, and they remind us that we are not in this world alone. So.... three cheers to all our friends out there - the ones that stick with us through thick, thin, and then some.
Big hugs to all the ones I'm lucky to be able to call my friends.
first day of first grade
3 years ago